At the advice of other brides, I recently purchased "Miss Manners' Guide to a Surprisingly Dignified Wedding". My only contention is her advice on registries. I actually completely agree with Miss Manners. She despises registering for gifts, and she really does not like honeymoon registries or anything of that type. BUT I really do feel like people want a bride to register. We really have no room for towels, pots and pans, china or anything of the sort. None zero room. We live in a studio with a dog and a cat and one closet. No room.
So I started a honeymoon registry. I felt sort of dirty about it before (having heard older generations complain at other weddings of how tactless they find it) but now that Miss Manners keeps telling me to not have a registry I feel even dirtier. Ugh. I don't know what to do. Why is everything wedding related so stress inducing.
.jpg)
practical registry advice, that cannot in anyway be considered good manners:
ReplyDeletethere are 2 reasons to have a registry: shower gifts and wedding gifts.
I think people are less inclined to "need" or "want" a registry for wedding gifts. they'll either give money, gift cards, or something unique they think you'll want or need.
the SHOWER gifts is where people look for a registry. then you have to divide the guests into categories: people who will listen to you and actually give you money towards a honeymoon (which would be awesome) and people who don't want to give gift cards or money for any reason.
This second set will be the people who WANT/NEED a registry. they are also the people who will get you 5 million wine glasses if they don't have a registry to look at.
of course you always have the people who want to find something unique, or don't like to buy off the registry, and that's fine. but the vast majority of people just want something easy, and that's why people "like" registries.
the room thing is clearly an issue. (I still have bridal shower gifts that have never been opened). My suggestion is to put pick one place to register and select a few key items (kitchen aide, maybe some new sheets). you'll still end up with stuff you don't need, want or have room for, but hopefully they purchased from your registry location, and you can return what you don't need!
I realize that this whole post is totally distasteful and tacky, but unfortunately, so are wedding guests sometimes!
you don't need a rulebook, you need a coolbook.
ReplyDeletePLUS I would NEVER take advice from someone named "Jacobina". . . that's a made up name.
ReplyDeleteMary! you are my coolbook. Yea I mean her whole reasoning is that it is rude to assume your guests can't think of a good gift on their own. But um I have seen what some people get for their weddings and well...
ReplyDelete